Lightsaber Warning Label

Riffling through the archive of past daily creates in DS106 Inspire, I came across this gem:

(Source:, originally posted:

To me, every warning label is a story. Someone must have at one time or another done whatever crazy thing is being warned against. You might assume that these are merely anticipated misuses. But once upon a time chemists used their mouths to create the suction for pipetting. So now in chemistry labs they always warn you not to do this. You might swallow whatever chemical it is that you are attempting to use. In my 7th-grade science class when we were disecting sheep eyeballs, one brilliant student ate the formaldehyde-soaked fat from his for $20.

People do stupid things.

In reading this warning label, I like to imagine rebellious children doing very foolish things with lightsabers. The sorts of foolish things children always do. Like accidentally set the car on fire when they decide to see what happens when you stick a lightsaber in the gas tank.

And of course there is the allusion to Luke Skywalker losing his hand while handling a lightsaber. A truly tragic accident.

And then there is that glorious alliteration. Always handle from handle. I wish more warning labels had alliteration.

However, with each of these warnings, there is a cloud, a question, a sense of doubt. Vader’s head is at the top of the label. Are these warnings coming from him? Is this merely an attempt to keep us from doing what he fears? Can’t you just imagine Vader working late into the night, designing this label, contacting all lightsaber manufacturers and using the Force to compel them to include this false label with their product?

Like I said, there’s a story there.

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1 Response to Lightsaber Warning Label

  1. Bianca says:

    Couldn’t agree more! I can remember times even in my high school chemistry class (where you would think people would actually pay attention to these things) other students not paying attention to those things! I think that a lot of times individuals in our society don’t really take heed to warnings and have the we can get away with it attitude. Nice choice!

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